Partay at the Baseay or the Renegadesay!
by Sarah aka Celebi
Summary: Yuan's out grocery shopping. The Renegades and Botta are out boozin'. Lloyd and company discover the empty base... And decide to throw a party. Spoilers for end of game, technically.
1. Always lock your doors, damnit!

**Par-tay at the Base-ay of the Renegades-ay!**  
Chapter One- _Always lock your doors, damnit!_

It was a peaceful day at the Renegade base in Sylvarant. It was very... empty. Yes, very, very empty. In fact, the only person there was Yuan. Because he had no life. Loser, let's laugh at him. Ha ha.

... Now, you may be wondering why the hell one of the two Renegade bases would have NO personnel whatsoever. Or you could be wondering what 22 is. Or maybe you're wondering what to have for supper... But ANYWAYS... The reason is simple. Random Renegade #31691 turned 21 today, so they all went out boozin'.

Except for Yuan. Loser. Ha ha.

... Yeeeeeah. Moving on, Yuan was alone in the Renegade base. He was very hungry, but unfortunately for him... he was the ultima supreme ruler of the Renegades (and a somethin' somethin' Seraphim in Cruxis.... But who cares about that?!) so he'd never had to fend for himself. He was completely helpless... even within HIS OWN HOME.

So, Yuan had NO clue whatsoever where the food was, and did not want to spend five hours of his time searching for the bloody 'You are Here' sign that Botta had suggested he put up. Martel knows how long it would take to find the kitchen from there.

"... Now... in this situation.... what would Lord Yggdrasill do?" Yuan thought to himself- because it would be very silly to talk when no one's around. He paused for a second to remember his adventures with young Mithos, Kratos, and Martel.

-Flashback-

"... Well. Thanks to you, YUAN... we're out of food," Kratos said, glaring at the blue-haired imp.

"I told you, already! The old man said he'd tell us where to find the Armor of Invincibility if I gave him all our food!" Yuan whined.

"Damn that old man..." Mithos muttered. "So... what do we do now?" Martel glanced up from her Tales of Symphonia Strategy Guide.

"... Hmm.... Yuaaaaaaan..." Martel said, in a babying voice. "What do we do when we're out of food?..."

"... We ask Mithos for it!"

"... I don't have any food, Yuan," the blonde midget said with the patience of a saint. Yuan had a confused look on his face for a few second until...

"We ask Kratos for it!" he said, delighted.

"... I don't have any either," Kratos said, proving that he's ALWAYS been that quiet. Yuan paused, thinking.

"Come on, Yuan.... Come on, you know this... When we're out of food we go to the...?"

-End Flashback-

"THE GROCERY STORE!" Yuan declared, standing up on top of his desk. He crawled slowly off the desk and dusted off his showy armor that doesn't really add to his DEF stat. He looked over to his desk and brushed aside his Hello Kitty stationary and pulled out his Renegade Memo pad.

He scribbled a quick note for his comrades and headed out. He posted the note on the door.

'DEAR RENEGADES-

I AM OUT GROCERY SHOPPING IN TRIET. I HOPEFULLY WON'T BE GONE FOR MORE THAN THREE DAYS. ON THE FIFTH DAY, SEND BOTTA OUT AND TELL HIM I WANT MY TEDDY BEAR, DAMNIT.

-HUGS AND KISSES,  
YUAN

P.S.: IF YOU ARE NOT A RENEGADE, PLEASE GO AWAY AND DO NOT ENTER THE TOP SECRET RENEGADE BASE. (THAT MEANS YOU, LLOYD!)'

And finally, with a dramatic swirl of the cape- Yuan was off on his way.

And wouldn't you know? No more than five minutes after Yuan had left, a certain suspender-wearing brown-haired hero showed up at his door. Along with his posse.

"Why are we here?" Genis asked, looking over to Lloyd.

"I told you already..." Lloyd said. "We're gonna bother YUAN!"

The rest of the party sighed before Kratos asked,

"Is it just me or does this seem more pointless than usual?"

"It's just you..." Everyone else in the gang answered quickly. Kratos sighed deeply. Lloyd ran up to the door but instead of busting the door open using a self damaging drop kick he stopped and examined the note. He pulled the large note off the door and read it.

"Hugs and Kisses?" He said surprising loud right before he burst out laughing. Everyone just stared blankly and rather confused. All wondered what was on the note (besides hugs and Kisses) that could make Lloyd laugh so hard... Even though they all knew how easily amused he was.

"What's so funny Lloyd?" Sheena asked, bluntly. Everyone else wondering the same thing.

"OH... oh..." Lloyd gasped wiping a tear from his eye. "Oh... Its Nothing! Nothing!" Lloyd said putting the note behind his back.

"And the Note?" Raine asked.

"It... Just says Yuan is out for the moment and for us to just let ourselves in!" Lloyd answered quickly.

"And help ourselves to anything in his fridge?" Zelos asked. Somehow being there at the same time as Kratos and Mithos. MARTEL knows why there both there at the same time.... but she wont tell us... stuck up goddess...

"Well, Let's not waste his hospitality!" Colette said, all COLETTE like. Lloyd nodded with his usual smirk before looking over to Kratos.

"What, Lloyd?" He asked looking over.

"Come on..." Lloyd said with a larger smirk.

"What!?"

"You know you want to!"

"For the last time- I do not have such incestuous thoughts!"

"... not.... THAT!" Lloyd exclaimed, looking a mixed shade of red and green.

"Oh... What then?"

Lloyd looked over at the door then, back to Kratos, then to the door once more, then to Kratos again. And smiled and nodded repetitively. Kratos paused then nodded finally understanding.

The next moment Lloyd and Kratos could be seen hitting the front door with the patented Irving (well technically the AURION but whatever) drop kick. With so much force the hinges came off and the door flew and hit the next door, knocking its hinges off. Kratos and Lloyd both pulled themselves up from the floor yelping in pain.

"Wow... they managed to damage themselves over a thousand damage each in that stunt..." Raine said, knowing they would both come crying to her in a minute.

"You think they're hurt... Just think of the poor door..." Genis mumbled.

"Really... Look there even disappearing into the ground..." Presea pointed out.

"Just like Bosses!" Colette said happily.

The group all went inside, they searched about for any sign of Renegade life- but there was none. No Renegades playing table tennis, no Renegades in the built in spa, no Renegades at the casino, no Renegades crash-testing rheairds... And Lloyd was starting to wonder how the hell Yuan could incorporate a table tennis table, a spa, and a CASINO into his top-secret military organization. Then he wondered... what did incorporate mean?

At the end of the search, there were no Renegades to be found. But now, also, there was one missing Kratos.

"Where'd Kratos go?" Lloyd asked, oblivious he had left right after the Patented Irving/Aurion Self Damaging Drop kick.

"Dang, guess we'll have to get a new one." Zelos said, coolly.

"We can't get a new Kratos!" Lloyd argued.

"Of course you can! All you have to do is go find some random stranger who kind of looks like him, give him a 500 dollar hair cut, get some him some different cloths, a sword, a bad attitude, and BAM! New Kratos!" Zelos said, smiling unaware that Kratos stood behind him.

"What about being able to use magic? Or have wings?" Colette asked.

"Oh well, Guess you'll just have to keep me as the magic swordsman then" He said snickering before getting smacked over the head with a Herbal Essence Bottle (Blatant advertisement!).

"YAY! Kratos is back!" Colette yelled.

"Thank goddess, I'd rather have my Dad then some random guy people pair me with in yaoi fanfictions." Lloyd said, with a sigh of relief.

"Actually... Lloyd..." Regal (finally appearing in this fanfiction!) said, approaching Lloyd. He followed this up by whispering, you can only guess, in his ear.

"OMG! They do WHAT!? WITH WHO!?" Lloyd screamed, turning completely green this time. Regal just nodded. Lloyd wondering how Regal knew this.

"Kratos, where were you?" Raine asked, taking the tension away.

"I...was..." Kratos began to say. He would have said it all then if everyone wasn't staring at him. "... Stealing shampoo from the bathroom."

"WHAT!?" Everyone asked.

"What? He's got Herbal Essences!" He said, holding up a shampoo bottle. They all just stared. "and all these cool little soaps!" Holds little soap. "This ones shaped like a Half-Elf!" as Kratos continued his rant that would later be known as 'The great Kratos soap rant' the others thought of what to do next.

"I think we should just leave..." Presea said, logically.

"But we can't just leave Kratos!" Lloyd insisted.

"Sure we can!" Zelos interrupted. "You've already got a top class MAGIC swordsman..."

"... We're not leaving Kratos for him," Sheena agreed.

"So we'll have to either drag him around by some sort of leash, or wait until he finishes," Raine concluded.

"So what do we do until he's done?" Lloyd asked.

"Well... we're completely alone in the home of a guy we don't exactly want to smother with our love, there's tons of food in the fridge, a pantry full of party items, spray paint, a built in spa and casino- evidently- a big computer, Yuan's ROOM, his rollodex with the numbers of all his friends and a caterer, and his diary..." Genis concluded. Everyone instantly knew what to do.

"Well, I suppose we should go!" Colette said with a smile. Because she was too nice to understand the sinister plotting at hand, Martel bless her. Okay. Maybe not everyone got it. The others paused, and then, as if commanded by alien force, screamed at the same time:

"PARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"


	2. There's No Such Thing as an Unlisted Num...

**Par-tay at the Base-ay of the Renegades-ay!**  
Chapter Two- _There's No Such Thing as an Unlisted Number._

"Okay! We have Raine checking out all the party supplies, Regal looking at the food, Zelos is testing the odds at the casino..." Genis muttered. "So I guess you and I should start the guest list," he finished, looking up at Lloyd.

"Man, all this planning sucks. Can't we just TP the place?" Lloyd whined.

"Lloyd, have you EVER planned a successful party?" Mithos asked. He'd been there the entire time, just reeeeeeally quiet.

"Um... my fifth birthday party?" Lloyd suggested.

"Didn't your house catch on fire?" Genis asked, half paying attention.

"A mere techni... techniq... techik..."

"Technicality," Genis corrected.

"But whatever! Let's just go do... stuff!" Lloyd pouted.

"After the invitations," Genis chided.

"Yeah. Punkass bitch," Mithos added. Lloyd mumbled something to the likes of 'stop calling me that...'

"Okay, fine, fine!" Lloyd angrily said. "Let's invite some people!" He snatched Yuan rollodex off of the desk, and started flipping around. "Okay... let's see... Mom, Dad, Uncle Sherman, Forcystus, Random Renegade 31691... Oooh! Botta's personal phone line... hey! He's got Yggdrasil's cell!" Lloyd giggled. Mithos froze.

"... Are you suggesting inviting our archnemesis to come to a party at Yuan's base?" Genis asked.

"Uh... well... ... ... Why the hell not?" Lloyd cheerfully exclaimed.

"Because he hates us," Genis pointed out.

"No I do- I mean no he doesn't!" Mithos yelled. Oh, master of cover-ups.

"Huh?" both Genis and Lloyd asked at once. Mithos quickly shut up, and started looking at Yuan's Hello Kitty Stationary. He acted as if he'd never said anything.

"... SO!" Lloyd spoke up. After another small pause, "LET'S CALL HIM!"

"Why!" Genis asked, annoyed with Lloyd in general.

"Well, like I said. Why not?" Lloyd explained, a clueless grin on his face.

"... You know what, I'm through arguing with you. Just call him!" Genis rolled his eyes.

"O-KAY!" Lloyd declared, picking up the Mickey Mouse phone also on Yuan's desk. After dialing a few numbers, Genis looked at him incredulously.

"I didn't think you were gonna do it!" he whined. Lloyd made a motion for him to shush.

"It's ringing..." Lloyd muttered. At the exact same moment, the annoying cell-phone version of the Desian theme rang throughout the room. The blonde-haired half-elf quickly turned around and pulled out his cell phone.

"Hello?" he quickly spoke into the phone.

"HI YGGDRASIL!" Lloyd yelled into the phone, Mithos winced.

"Lloyd, I'm a little busy right now..." he began.

"... Aren't ya gonna ask how we got this number or where we are or maybe... uh... something!" Lloyd squealed.

"Er... um... sure," Mithos muttered, taking a glance to make sure Genis wasn't looking.

"Right! You see, we're at Yuan's base and we found your cell in his rollodex! Where are you!"

"Uh... I'm... at sea!" Mithos quickly fibbed.

"Ooooh... NIFTY! Where abouts?"

"Just... at sea. Somewhere."

"That's cool... ... Hey, Yggdrasil, why does your voice sound... more girly than usual today?" Lloyd asked. Mithos swore under his breath. He forgot to change his voice!

" Uh... whatever do you mean, you son of Kratos?" Mithos responded, now in his 'masculine' voice.

"Oh... it fixed itself... ... ... Wanna come to a party! We're all here, plus there's Kratos, and this cool kid Mithos, and we're gonna try to invite Botta and some random peeps!" Lloyd explained.

" Erm... I'd really like to, Lloyd, but I can't. It's really bad rep for a villain to be seen clubbin' with his rival," Mithos explained back.

"What!... Man- you went punk! It used to be all about us, homie! But no! It's all about your damn rep! You know what, I hate you, man! I thought we had something special! But no! I hate you!" Lloyd ranted, then slamming the phone back down on the receiver. "MITHOS! You're my new blonde friend who isn't a love interest!" he declared to the crouching half-elf.

"Eh?" Mithos asked, quickly hiding his cell phone. "Er... um... sure! Right-o!"

"... Mithos... what were you doing?" Genis asked.

"Uh... I had a call..." Mithos said.

"Who was it?" Lloyd asked.

"Uh... er... ... ... ... I was ordering pizza!" Mithos quickly lied.

"Really! Yay!" Lloyd screamed. "Hurray for MITHOS! I'm gonna go tell the others!" Lloyd said, running out of the room. Genis gave a little glance to Mithos, before following. As soon as they left the room, Mithos quickly spun around, pulled out his cell phone, and pressed speed dial number 4.

"Hello? Dragon Pizza Palace? I need 16 pepperoni pizzas, ASAP! Put it on my tab!... It's me, Yggdrasil, you idiots! ...And I own your chain! GIVE ME PIZZA NOW!"

-

"hm... what's this?" Lloyd asked, looking at a certain sign in the hall way. "GASP! A MAP! how ever so convenient!" He yelled to himself like an idiot. He scanned the 'You are here' sign trying to find the Kitchen. Than he noticed the dot that said 'You are here' over it. He grew pale as he stared at the font before screaming "OH MY GODDESS! HOW DO THEY KNOW!" then he took off in the direction he hoped was West.

-

Meanwhile, on the completely other side of the base. Kratos, Colette, and Sheena were "testing" the table tennis table.

"Stop using your wings! That totally not fair, Kratos!" Sheena yelled, waving her ping-pong paddle around menacingly.

"Well stop calling upon the power of Origin to land power shots!" Kratos argued.

"Maybe me and Kratos should play? Angel table tennis sounds fun!" Colette said, smiling as usual. Sheena shrugged before handing over the paddle to the happy little angel girl.

"hmph... are you sure Colette...? You could get hurt you know..." Kratos said.

"Oh come on! It'll be fun!" Colette smiled before slamming the ball against the table. Kratos saw the ping-pong ball rocketing toward his face, he braced for the attack only it flew passed his face bounced off the wall behind him and nailed him in the back of the head.

"EEP, KRATOS!" Colette yelled, running over to Kratos and his nasty head wound. "Why do all my friends end up getting wounded!" Colette cried. Sheena laughed on the inside only to cover this up with a concerned face.

"I was simultaneously looking at the ball and it hit me in the back of the head... ... ... NO! that's not impossible!" Kratos rambled, he took his hands away from the back of his head and looked for where exactly the ball ended up after the collision with his head. The ball was sitting across the room near Sheena's feet.

"Hmm.. what's this?" Sheena mumbled noticing a door she hadn't seen earlier. The ball had apparently hit the doorknob and broken the lock, so very convenient since she was now curious to what lie inside.

"Sheena?" Colette asked, innocently. Sheena wiggled the door knob until the door opened. Inside lie a long flight of stairs. Colette helped Kratos off the ground before the headed up the stairs. They climbed for a few minutes in pitch blackness until they reached the top.

"Lights?" Kratos asked, looking around the darkness.

"I got um! I call upon The light of the Heaven!" Sheena being interrupted by the two angels yelling,

"NO! Remember what happened last time!" and tackling her. The three brushed themselves off and stood up, trying to see past the dark once more.

"I found them!" Colette exclaimed grabbing onto the light switch. They were instantly blinded by the mass amount of lighting the area had.

"An... Attic?" Sheena asked, regaining her sight. It was indeed the attic, you could tell this because the whole place was filled with crap. 'Storage compartment' my ass, it was filled with pure junk hence an ATTIC!

"Wow! Look at all this stuff!" Colette said happily as she looked over the mountains of stuff.

"There must be 3500 years of crap up here," Kratos noted.

"Maybe... hey! Look at this! It's a wardrobe!" Sheena said, sparkling. "That means CLOTHES!"

"I wanna go to Narnia!" Colette giggled.

"Uh... Colette... that was just a book," Sheena explained, rooting through the wardrobe. Kratos also walked over and took a peek.

"... Oh my! That's MY pimp jacket!" Kratos declared, yanking out the said jacket. "I KNEW Yuan stole it, I just couldn't prove it to Martel!"

"Uh... Kratos? Could'ja not make references to the ancient Goddess as is she were your boon companion?" Sheena asked, a bit uncomfortable with Kratos' age.

"But... she was!" Kratos earnestly said, clutching 'his' pimp jacket. Sheena sighed.

"Uhm... ... ... guys?" Colette whimpered. The other two turned to look. "Why is this here?" she asked, pointing to what appeared to be a small altar.

"... Oh. My. Goddess," Sheena gaped. The altar was surrounded by candles, and pictures of a certain blonde-haired chosen. There were picture of her as an angel, of her before she started her journey, of her in ALL her special outfits, and even panty shots.

"That's.. disturbing," Kratos muttered, turning that odd shade of green we love so much.

"Uh... did... Yuan make this?" Colette asked timidly.

"No ma'am," came an odd voice from the corner. "Some random renegade, I think."

A three of the group sudden froze, and slowly turned around. Sitting in the corner was an ensemble of musicians, with guitars, and a drummer, and a flutist.

"Uh... who the hell are you guys!" Sheena asked, being the first to regain her composure.

"We're... THE COMPOSERS!" the band said in unison, posing cheesily.

"... and WHO are you?" Kratos asked again.

"We're the official Renegade composers! Like, you know the Renegade theme? That was all us! Yuan's theme? You're welcome! And you know the fight song while you're going against Yuan!"

"That was you?"

"That was SO us!" the guitarist screamed.

"Uh... then why are you in the attic?" Colette asked. "Isn't it cold... and dusty?"

"Well... Yuan got kinda bored of having us follow him around, and we were afraid that if we hit a sudden cold spell he'd eat us for nutrients... so... here we are!" the flutist explained. "And... well... we've been here for 2 years."

"How do you eat?" Kratos asked incredulously.

"We've been eating this messed up cereal we found!" the drummer answered, holding up a cereal box. The box had a chibi Yggdrasil on it and read 'EXSPHERE-O'S!' with lots of bright colors.

"Endorsed by Tethe'alla's Chosen of Mana? Zelos- that SELL-OUT!" Sheena screamed with all her banshee-might.

"Uh... yeah... right. So, you kinda opened the door... and stuff... so... we're gonna leave," the band leader said.

"Hey!... um... we're gonna have a party... do you wanna come?" Colette asked, polite as usual. The band members looked at each other. "Maybe you could play for us!"

"... Yeah, I guess we could jam for you," the drummer nodded.

"Yay!" Colette giggled. "Thank y- Ooh what's that!" the female chosen got distracted and quickly ran over to a box. Sheena kinda slinked over to check.

"... Christmas lights?" Sheena asked.

"Let's put 'em up!" Colette suggested.

"Yeah, that'd be awesome," the band agreed.

"Kratooooooooos? Will you help!" Colette asked, already pulling strings of lights out. Kratos sighed a defeated sigh.

"... Fine."

-

Meanwhile, Genis was still working on the... 'invitation calls.'

"Hello?" the voice of Princess Hilda came through the phone.

"Hello, Princess. Is you refrigerator running?" Genis asked, a wicked little grin on his face.

"... Actually, it isn't. Dad and I had to eat all the ice cream before it melted..." Hilda said, sounding sulky.

"... ... Oh... ... ... Okay, then, you have a good day now, Take c-Luck!" Genis awkwardly finished before hanging up. "Man... that was bad..." Genis muttered. Then he pulled out the rollodex. He dialed a few numbers.

"Hello?" came the old voice of Koton. Genis breathed deeply, and got into his creepiest voice and mood.

"Seven days..."

"OH MY GODDESS!"

-

a/n: Hello folks, Sarah AKA Celebi and Alice Kaiba AKA Saisu are here to say 'lo!

**Sarah's Notes:** You know, I'm sorry I forgot to mention this... this fiction was co-written- both me AN' Saisu worked on it. I shouldn't take all the credit. It's our excuse to not work on it, we can only do it when she comes over! eheh

**Saisu's Note:** Yes, we can only work on it when I come over for sleepovers. Then she's all "I need food" "I need sleep" "I need to use the bathroom" "Hay look BottaxYuan Pictures!" "Lets go get a quick snack!" I have to constantly remind her of our DUTY to the angry reviewers. Yes, so thank ME! XD this would not ever get done if it wasn't for my bitch slap of dh00m. And just to tell you, there were OH-SO-MANY jokes we wanted to put into this chapter that never made it... hm... maybe the third chapter will come faster than you think.

Now lets respond to some reviews! (Only the 'respondable' ones):

**Renee-ness:**  
Yes, yes they did. D... And yes, NEKKY KENT.

**Balderdash :**  
Actually, it's my favorite pairing. It's _SheelloydlosgalnatoslettenisuanttadylesilseanawaVOLT!_ Kudos to any who can decipher that.

**Night Wind-chan:**

Stop reminding meeeeee... yes, we know Otta-Bay is Ead-Day. This is just really set SOMEWHERE within the plot line, before that... and stuff. OR! He didn't actually die! The light of Aska was enough to evaporate the water so that he was simply locked in there! For 30 days he was stranded, eating off the other Renegades for nutrition, until he finally escaped!... Then he went to go farm in Ilia. Where eventually he met Yuan again. And regained his position as co-ruler of the Renegades AKA the one who ACTUALLY does all the work!GASP, Need air now...

**Theora:**

How did we come up with this? Uh... ... Saisu? How did we? Oh... right... Saisu discovered that there was NO ONE in the Renegade base once you go there of your own free will... then came all the questions, then came this fanfiction.

**The Zelda Master:**

... We're flattered you likeit!Yeah... forgive us our little grammatical errors. We're just some random 13-year-olds with too much spare time and not enough school experience.

Anyhow! That's all for this time... here's your update folks, I hope you like it and don't **stab** us for taking so long!


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